A little slice of hell

Pop quiz . . .

The UNhappiest place on earth is:

a) Disneyland
b) The DMV
c) East San Diego County
d) The proctologist
e) My cubicle

If you answered a., c., d., or e., you obviously haven't been to the DMV lately. Let me give you a brief synopsis of the room I encountered yesterday during my appointment to get a printout of my driving record:

The room was full of people who were pissed off, and those were just the employees of the DMV. Add the security guard yelling from fifty feet away at each person who entered to "shut the door!" and you have yourself a party. I'm telling you, I haven't seen so many frowns since George W. recently explained that terrorists had nothing to do with our invasion of Iraq. A long looping line which started at the front door lead victims to the first ominous sign which read: "start here".

I can see how they tried to spruce up the place: the long rows of orange plastic chairs as far as the eye could see, signs in Spanish and English, large numbers to tell you exactly where you were going. All it was missing was some gingham and plastic foliage.

With two grumpy DMV workers ushering even more unhappy customers through, I decided I was going to positive attitude this wait right into my happy place. However, when the child in front of me projectile vomited on my feet, I decided Disneyland on a hot day at full capacity was actually not the most UNhappy place on earth. It was truly the San Ysdiro, California DMV.

I suppose the kid was taking on my attitude of wishing this little slice of hell into a reasonable place, as he serenely giggled and smiled in between each bought of vomit. That was really quite refreshing of him.

Rockabye Baby

I don't care that I don't even have children, I'm buying these for myself.

Pure genius.

"Toy" gets man in trouble

Next time you feel like bringing inappropriate things out in public; i.e. on an airplane . . . with your mother in tow, don't tell airport security said inappropriate devise is a bomb.

Did he figure with all the hype about liquids on plans these days, airport security wouldn't care about his alleged "bomb"?

. . .

In the tender spots. In the weak areas. In the brokenness.

It is there I will love you.

~God

My Favorite Picture Today

It wasn't posted today, but I rediscovered this gem today.

A To-do List inspired by Tamara

1. Finish signing up for photography class
2. Make Rachel Ray meal
3. Eat at Hodad's
4. Pack
5. Rediscover hidden passions
6. Get fingerprinted
7. Dig my toes in the sand and listen to the ocean
8. Take picture of Windmill Farms windmill at dusk
9. Write Msayiwale a letter
10. Go out in nature and smell the green
11. Find a picture of Bershon

I just can't help myself

McDonalds Killing Us Again

It seems McDonalds can't do anything without getting noticed:

1. helping expedite the obesity problem throughout the world
2. promoting gas guzzling vehicles which ruin the environment, have no real use in the suburbs, and create astronomic monthly gas bills
3. endorsing the unhealthy image that clowns really are safe for children of all ages

Favorite Picture of the Day

Go here to see my favorite picture of the day from Chromasia.

Tamara is My Hero

When one woman can become obsessed with 80s television (i.e. MacGyver), get locked out of a house with more security than Fort Knox, and then proceed to use her extensive MacGyver knowledge in order to break into said high security system (aka mother of all deadbolts) with TWO BOBBY PINS taken directly from her head, the term "hero" just doesn't cut it.

"Don't worry, I've seen this on MacGyver a million times" (Tam).


















[freaky, yet intriguingly funny image courtesy of Tamara]

Favorite Picture(s) of the Day

Great shot, Jen!

And one from Luke Winter that is equally as awesome.

Apparently swinging on trees is all the rage for this summer.

Little Curly

My Favorite Picture of the Day

If you want to see my favorite picture of the day, go here.

Sick of hearing about mass murder on an unimaginable scale

I've started ignoring my BBC.com page because all the top headlines ever read are pronouncements like this:

A plot to blow up planes in flight from the UK to the US and commit "mass murder on an unimaginable scale" has been disrupted, Scotland Yard has said.

Therefore, in order to create balance in the universe, between good and evil, right and wrong, He-Man and Care Bears alike, I will post the following, courtesy of Alon:

Office Quote of the Day

Erin: "I'm so full."

Julie: "Hey, you should try some urine*."

Gayla: "That is LaDonna's favorite drink."

*referring to Mountain Dew

Cheeky Girls

If you can figure out what these Slovakian girls are saying, you win a prize. I think the prize will have something to do with Diet Rite and/or Chick-O-Stick.

It is offensive to draw attention to someone's feet in Thailand.

Well pinch my cheek and call me missy, this is a big night!

I had written Jen in Thailand a while ago and randomly put a list of things of which I wanted her to take pictures. I'll admit, I didn't think the product would be delivered; the fun would all end in the card being stuffed in a box of pad thai noodles somewhere. However, tonight I finally went to Jen's actual website (usually I just read everything through my Netvibes feedreader so I don't see the actual links . . . okay, I just read that outloud . . . am I really that nerdy?). Anyway, I saw a link to PHOTOS FOR KATIE!

Jennifer, you get an A+, gold star, and a big football slap on the behind for your effort and follow through. My favorite so far is "Me on My Motorbike". Steve McQueen, watch out! Okay, I'm also realizing I need some more up-to-date movie references. If anyone has any hot people riding on motorcycles references, I would greatly appreciate you helping me improve my quickly dwindling cool girl image.

Jen, you're the best. Now come home and make me some Thai iced tea!

It is Here I feel Home

Seek a Peek Tam

Be Still

Sitting on my rock today above the pulsing of the river’s life, I found for the first time in weeks, I could hear. The motor-like revving of hummingbirds wings over my head, bubbles surfacing in the still water, branches with their leaves rustling in the breeze, the whirring of dragonflies and bees, and a small current making its way over rocks upstream . . . not only could I hear, I could breathe and be still. In the middle of this secret space off the normal hiking trails, there are no tasks, no dirty looks from strangers, no commercials, no angry people flipping me off, nothing falling apart, no ringing phones, just the smell of green and nature going on about its business as though it didn’t have a care in the world.

These are the places I fail to visit often enough, so that I start believing the angry people with the middle fingers are right: God can’t hear you, and p.s., you suck. The problem is, I get so entrenched in my freeway life, the one where I’m always driving 85 mph to inevitably arrive late to the next destination, that I am actually the one that’s not stopping to listen. The honking, the drive-thrus, the appointments, the ads, the rushing, the flushed cheeks, the double shots, the tanned plastic faces, they all have me believing this is really living.

Today, for three hours, I knew the God who cares so much about the intricacies of the ants making their way into my ears – I knew if he cared about the stupid ants, he had to be caring about me. Listening to me. Breathing life around me. Breathing life into me through the beauty of the buzzing and humming and whirring. And even through the busyness of this alternate world living its way around me, he let it all be quiet enough to know he is nearer than I think.