Coffee and Chargers

One of my favorite things is when people are condescending to me. [sarcasm]

Exhibit A: I go to Starbucks to get coffee for a group of people, and each time I order a new beverage, the girl behind the counter rolls her eyes and lets me know how I'm killing her softly with my incessant babbling on and on and on about coffeeeeeeeeeee. I then make the mistake of attempting to pay with a $50 bill (not mine), she looks me square in the eyes, and I think we're having a showdown at high noon, and she says with flat affect, "No." To which I reply, "Eh, er, uh . . ." To which she replies, "Sorry." To which I hand her a 20 dollar bill, apparently a very close second to the inconvenience of the 50, noted by a very long roll of the eyes.

Exhibit B: Five blocks later I'm at Radio Shack looking for a phone charger at a price that won't force me to sell my first born. I ask Big Lebowski with the Radio Shack name tag that says Brian or Donald or Mike or something, if they have any chargers that don't cost $30, to which he replies in a tone that denotes I am clearly in a lower caste than him, "Why would you want that?" To which I reply, "Uh, so I don't have to spend $30 on a charger?" To which he replies, "Well, yeah, if you want to see your battery explode and drip battery acid all over everything." [No exaggeration] Since I've already been to CVS, Wallgreens, a pawn shop, and an additional Radio Shack looking for this particular charger, much to my chagrin, I end up buying it. He's patting himself on the back for being such a great salesman. I'm putting pins in the Radio Shack Guy voodoo doll of my mind.

However, I have to admit that I do say this with a hot coffee in one hand and a newly charged phone in the other. So I guess that's the price I pay for convenience.

They just wanna . . .

Sometimes I feel like I live my life in this Catholic school girl uniform, just waiting for my chance to turn into the after-school version of Sarah Jessica Parker in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Lately I feel so bland and so boring for simply making it through, but until I find a little more time (see: courage) to get in a little more trouble, the following will be a feeble attempt at finding some a-has! in the day-to-day:

Right before flying through the Cincinnati layer of cotton ball clouds, I remembered how much I LOVE being in a window seat while flying over cotton ball clouds. And then, as we broke through the smoky layer, and the sun above turned into a gray day below, the crayon box of fall trees that coated the ground beneath us reminded me how much I LOVE real fall-changing-color trees! Which also reminded me how much I LOVE sitting in a row on an airplane next to a crazy lady who spends most of the flight yelling at the flight attendants IF the seat between us is empty. And how much I LOVE staying in hotels by myself because it means I can let my life spread throughout every last corner of the room without feeling guilty for playing the part of complete slob for a few days. Let's not forget how much I LOVE spending too much on dinner if it means two hours with a good friend who happens to share my affinity for being a food snob. Of course there comes the part where I wake up tomorrow after not getting enough sleep because I'm still existing in the San Diego time zone, but I'm sure there will be things like rainbows and unicorns and dancing elves to somehow remind me that even work trips in the Midwest are full of things to LOVE.

Giddy With Excitement

Go get yer own here.

Holga!

One of the best days ever. Cafe Chloe followed by 8 hours of impromptu shooting with Aaryn. See that halo of light? That follows Aaryn everywhere she goes.

Re-Inspired

Since we got back from a work trip to Haiti about a week ago, I've answered the question "How was the trip?" more than a couple of times. Most answers can be boiled down to these simple facts, "It was good, but I'm never going back."

And then I talked to my friend, Ben, whose summation of his trip to the same exact country can probably be boiled down to the antithesis of my answer, "It was good, and we loved it so much we're going back to live indefinitely." He's picking up life in the States to change he and his wife's address to "Middle of Nowhere, Haiti".

After our e-mail convo, I thought, they must be off their Jesus-loving rockers.

However, after a little thought, I realized I haven't been giving Haiti, or for that matter, Ben, a fair chance. I keep telling people that practically EVERYONE was sad or disgruntled or simply annoyed that we were intruding upon their every day lives. In reality I'm probably just taking out my angst on the entire culture after a few run-ins with some screaming Haitians who were unequivocally pissed at our cameras aimed in their general direction.

And there are also fun little anecdotes, like the one where this previously beautiful country, now scattered with six feet high piles of trash and thick black smog and no remaining natural resources, actually had a president that accomplished little more than half-finishing a poor replica of the Eiffel Tower in the center of the city . . . rather than, I don't know, finding a way to feed his people?

When I get past my pride (like the time where I stupidly yelled out the window, "I'm not even taking your picture!") and my anger toward corrupt elected officials and my general feeling of unease about being in a country where my ONLY point of commonality lies in my ability to say "Bon Jour" and "Oui", I remember these few moments in our three day stint in this completely foreign fourth world country:

• a winking contest with a little boy across the room as a video interview was happening in between us

• a young girl grabbing my hand and holding it as we walked through a random section of the city

• my ability to connect with a crowd of people and individuals to capture in a photo what was really going on in that exact moment

• winding through the slinking dark back alleys of a hidden neighborhood to find men playing dominoes, women braiding hair, teens washing clothes in buckets, and wondering how I got so lucky as to experience this culture, even for some fleeting minutes, in way most will never know

• kissing a grandmother good bye after laughing over pictures and holding hands

So. I might have gone into this completely exhausted, and I might have felt temporarily swallowed in the burden of a trash-laden landscape buried under black diesel exhaust and 90% humidity,

But.

I was reminded that yes, there is something life-giving in connecting with people who on the outside are nothing like me, but just as they do in every other country, reverberate this broken-record lesson: underneath, we are all really just the same.

Let Me Get Out My Slide Projector

A quick little somethin' somethin' from our three short days in Haiti . . . let me know when you find Dwight Schrute.

You can see the pictures on Flickr here.

From Donald Miller Tonight

[In the context of comparing our lives to a good narrative and paraphrased in a way that will possibly make no sense whatsoever outside the scope of his entire talk]

"Once you know there's a better story to be written from your life, choosing to live any other way is like choosing to die."

Erin Lyde + Andy Lyde = Lyla Lyde

I love taking pictures of good friends, mostly because it always flows so easily, and we're able to have uninhibited fun after everyone can get over the awkwardness of being in front of a camera (which is why I like to stay BEHIND the camera). I'll admit, after looking through these pictures of Andy and Erin, I got a little teary. No, I wasn't moved to tears by my own photography, but there's something about seeing two of my best friends step into a new stage of life that reminded me of how precious these relationships are . . . all the way from junior high band class, to years of basketball, to sloppy tears over broken relationships/smashed cars/flea-infested-apartments, to international travel, to messy lives and years of ass-kickings from Erin in any game we've ever played against each other . . . to babies.

Now, f I can look half as hot as a pregnant lady as Erin, I'll be one lucky lady.

love. love. love.

Yodelayheehoo!

Oh, hello world. Nice to be here again. If you could rate the last couple months of my life on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being tepid bath water and 10 being an opera starring Vin Diesel and Paris Hilton, I'd have to say I have fallen gracefully somewhere in between. Being a five on this particular scale has left little mental capacity for any creative musings, and might I add: deductive reasoning, rational thought, or general life-coping capabilities.

With this said, I think I finally might be, as Gloria Estefan so aptly put it, "Coming out of the dark". Have I mentioned that I once recorded that song from the radio and listened to it overandoverandoverandover off a mixed tape during some dark days of junior high? No? Well, I'm not ashamed. Okay, maybe a little.

Anyway, stay tuned for my next installment of: Why My Ex [Roommate] is Threatening to Sue. It's not to miss, and coming to a blog near you.

6 under 6

Six kids under six years old? I'm not a miracle worker. (Before this shoot, I really thought I could be.) And I think Luke is actually flipping me off in the second one.

Worth the price of admission

I'm posting internship opportunities on different college websites around the area, and started to wonder if we could ever live up to the qualifications set forth by UCSD. You know, that really prestigious UC school that's cutting all my friends' salaries and raising the price of admission to just under the price of your entire 401K?

Well, as I started to wonder whether we'd be able to throw enough bells and whistles into our intern program to make the cut, I got to the bottom of the qualifications and felt a little relief. I believe spell check was invented somewhere around 1995, and we would be certain to fashion a rigorous program that would fully utilize such modern technological conveniences, thus preparing our candidates for successful future careers in their respective fields of study.

***

The Academic Internship Program is an upper-division course and the internship is intended to be a structured learning experience. Therefore, to list with AIP your internship must meet the following criteria:

• The responsibilities of the student intern must be linked to academic studies and may not include sales related activities.
• Students are not permitted to participate in telemarketing or cold calling of any kind.
• Clerical, general office, and menial work must be kept to a minimum. The focus of the internship should allow for substantive, progressive learning rather than repetitive activities.
• Students should be supervised by a professional in the field, not by peers. Students cannot be considered a "resident expert".
• The Academic Internship Program cannot provide credit for jobs.
• The inern must attend a work site and cannot work from home.
• The internship must be a new experiance for the student.

A little photo shoot

This weekend I implemented my skills as a professional stalker. TWICE. Saturday started out with me and a long range lens, crawling, ducking, and once diving, to get shots of my friend who was proposing to his girlfriend on the Coronado beach. Let me just tell you, that should you have to run down a good stretch of the beach whilst carrying a very heavy lens on a hot summer day, don't flippantly cast your shoes aside (the ones that are keeping the hot sand from melting your feet right off) or say that you'll just drink water later. This is serious business, folks. And yes, I was actually hired to do this.

Later in the day I continued honing my stalking expertise when we put together a photo shoot for work. I was able to capture a few behind the scenes pictures, and yes, I was hired to do this as well. Below is a sneak peek at some of next year's goods, and if anyone feels like expediting my future as CIA operative, CLICK HERE TO BUY NOW!



Go here to see more.

Too Good to Be True

Of course it was. A 3 bedroom house on the beach in Coronado for $1,000 a month? Right. So of course we e-mailed, mostly out of my sheer determination to overcome the habitual bad luck that seems to be following me wherever I go.

According to the current trajectory of my life, it's really no surprise that we've been bated for some sort of Nigerian money scam. The response I received included a few gems, which also left me with a few questions: When renting a house, who says $1000USD if they're from the U.S.? Or, "I also want you to let me have trust in you as I always stand on my word."? My friends in Africa, that's who.

Taking into account that the posting on Craigslist has been flagged and removed, and that no one rents a house in San Diego, let alone Coronado, for $1,000, I've decided it would be best not to send the $900 in unmarked bills overseas . . . just yet.

For your entertainment, I've decided to include the e-mail. Feel free to call and send him your money if you wish. You could end up with a nice "beach front property" IN YOUR VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Hello,
Thanks for your email and interest in renting my house.Actually I resided in the house with my family, my wife and my only daughter before and presently we have moved out due to my transfer. Presently my house is still available for rent for $1000USD (rent already includes utilities).More so Now, i'm currently in Lagos,Nigeria for a missionary work.
Please i want you to note that i spent a lot on my property that i want to give to you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own, It is not the money that is the main problem but i want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word..

This is the address of the House:60 Mardi Gras, Coronado, CA 92118

SO IF YOU ARE REALLY INTERESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE RENT APPLICATION FORM BELOW.

RENT APPLICATION FORM.
FIRST NAME:__________?
MIDDLE NAME:__________?
LAST NAME:__________?
PROFESSION:__________?
PHONE:
(CELL)PHONE__________?
(WORK)PHONE__________?
(HOME)PHONE__________?
KIDS _____ (YES/NO), HOW MANY ________
PRESENT ADDRESS: _____________________
CITY: _______________
STATE:______________
ZIP CODE: ____________
HOW LONG? ___________IF RENTING
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING__________?
IF THIS HOUSE IS BEING GIVEN TO YOU,
HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND STAYING? ____________?
WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN? HOW SOON CAN YOU MAKE TH DEPOSIT PAYMENT______________?________________________
IF YOU HAVE A PET,
NAME OF PET: _____________?
KIND OF PETS: _____________?
HABITS
DO YOU SMOKE ______________ ?
DO YOU DRINK ______________?
DO YOU WORK LATE NIGHT? ____?

Looking forward to hearing from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you...Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you,please we are giving you all this based on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that we have not seen yet and only putting everything into Gods hands,so please do not let us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this....
The house is available for rent at the moment so you are free to move in as soon as you wish to...A Deposit of $900 (which happens to be the security deposit) is required before moving in.....Feel free to call me for more information and arrangements on how to get the keys and other necessary documents delivered to you...my number is (+234-703-345-1866 OR 011-234-703-345-1866 ).The house will be available for rent for a period of 6 years so you have a choice of deciding how long you intend staying there...
God Bless

I adore these crazy cats.

As previously blogged about here.

Tiny Tanks Sneek Peak

You can go here for some more.